Forever in your eyes
by Cheshiregal
Summary: Rachel's point of view, love story, past based but actually settled in the future. Faberry.


I take a deep breath as I stare at the blank piece of paper sitting in front of me, my tears are running down my face and I curse myself internally as I bite my bottom lip, I promised myself that I wasn't going to cry anymore.

The therapist said that I should write down everything I feel but I can't, how am I supposed to write something that I don't understand?, how am I supposed to write all this nameless feelings that live inside of my chest, yeah I could say that I love her, that I love her with everything I am and with everything I have, I could say that she took my heart and my soul and she never gave them back to me, I could say that I'm mad out of my head, I could say that I dont understand but what good would that do?.

So instead I will write our story I will write down every memory I have of her so he understands that I can't be cured, that what I have, what I feel will last till the day I die.

The first day of forever.

I was fifteen years old the first time I saw her, I mean I've known her since I was around six years old but I was fifteen when I first saw her for who she really was, it was a day like any other except it was the day that everything changed.

I'll always remember the way she looked that day, the way her eyes sparkled and her smile, her smile made it's way to the bottom of my heart, it gave me butterflies all over, it made me think I could fly, it... It made me fall in love and in that moment I knew that I had lost it all, my heart, my soul, my whole being and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way.

She stops in fron of me"Rachel I need you to come with me" she says with a tone of voice that I've never heard before, my hands start to shake because I have the feeling that something awful is about to happen, I bite my bottom lip turn around slowly and prepare myself for the worst.

What I see amazes me, she's smiling the most beautiful smile I've ever seen, she shakes her head, bites her bottom lip and looks up.

"I know this might seem crazy but I really need to talk to you and I swear to God that I won't do anything to hurt you, I am so incredibly sorry for my past behavior and I..." she looks directly into my eyes and I feel my heart melting inside my chest.

"Please come with me" my insides are screaming at me to run as fast and as far away as I can but my heart is whispering to go to just follow her till the end and I don't know why but the softest voice wins and I end up nodding slowly, she smiles again and I instantly know that I made the best and most important decision of my life.

She takes my hand and I feel a million bolts of electricity run through my skin, she drags me to the exit of the building and I am like walking on clouds I can't really describe what I am feeling.

She stops in front of her car and looks back at me "Do you" she clears her throat and looks up again.

"Would you come with me to some other place, I just... I need to talk to you... Please" my mouth is dry and I know that I shouldn't say yes but I am not myself in this moment and her voice sounds so vulnerable and she looks so beautiful so against all ods I nod again.

"Thank you" she whispers and my stomach drops to my knees.

I climb onto her car and take a deep breath, my hands are shaking, my mouth is dry and my heart is beating a thousand times per second.

"Quinn?" I say with a barely audible tone, she's holding onto the steering wheel her knuckles are white and I wonder what the hell is going on, she looks at me with sparkles in her eyes and those beautiful golden dots mixed with the perfect green and I just melt again, she could be taking me to hell for all I care and I would still be happy.

"Where are we going?" I whisper because I just don't trust my own voice right now, she smiles and looks away again, starts the engine and backs the car, I bite my bottom lip to try and contain my nerves.

We're going to one of my favorite places in the world, I hope you don't mind and I know that I can't ask you to trust me but you're going to have to" she says with a playful tone and my stomach drops to my knees again.

Minutes later she parks in front of the nursery that my dad used to take me when I was little, it makes me smile and relax a little.

I climb off the car and it already smells like flowers.

She stands in front of me her hands are behind her back and I have the horrible feeling that she will slushie me at any minute but she just clears her throat and looks at me with a look that I am unable to read.

"Rachel... God... I don't even know where to start" she clears her throat again, looks up to the sky and then back at me.

I swallow hard, her face is so beautiful I can't even describe it, her eyes look even lighter in the sunshine and her face is glowing, she looks like an angel.

My mouth dries and I have to look down and focus on her white tennis shoes.

"Would you walk with me?" she asks with a sweet tone and I just nod... Again.

My heart is beating hard and I try my best to stay focused on the beautiful plants that appear on my way.

She puts her warm hand on my arm and I stop in front of the tulips.

She clears her throat once again and locks her eyes in mine and I just get lost, I get lost in green and gold and the perfect world behind her eyes.

"Rachel you have no idea how much I've been thinking about this, you have no idea how many times I've prepared a speach and you have no idea of how nervous I am but..." She bites her bottom lip shakes her head, smiles and takes a deep breath.

"Yesterday, yesterday was such and important day for me, yesterday I realized that life... That life is... Well I realized that I have to live each day as if it was the last day so I quit the cheerios because that just wasn't making happy anymore, I stopped talking to stupid superficial people and I promised myself that I would do everything to get what I wanted what I really wanted from the bottom of my heart and I know that right now you might be thinking that I am crazy and

probably you're thinking why the hell is she telling me this but Rach..." she looks away and I try to control my nerves, I am confused, I am more nervous that I've ever been in my life and I just don't know what to think.

"Rach... God..." she shrugs her shoulders shakes her head and focuses hard on my eyes and again it makes my heart skip a beat.

"I am in love with you" she bites her bottom lip and now I am sure that I am dreaming, add this to the list of loser Rachel having dreams about her perfect, beautiful crush.

"I am in love with you and today I realized that I had to tell you not because I am expecting you to feel the same way or even considering to try something with you because I am sure that you hate me for all the horrible things that I've done in the past but I needed to say this and I need you to understand that everything I did was me trying to fight everything I was-am feeling, it was me trying to deny how unbelievable drawn toward you I was... I am, it was me trying to deny and... Fuck... It was me being a coward and I brought you here today to apologize and to tell you the truth that I desperately needed you to know and now you do and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you can understand it, I am not asking for forgiveness because I can't even do that I don't feel worthy but I wanted you to know my end of the story, and now you do" she smiles and I am completely lost in her eyes and I just don't want to wake up please don't wake me up this is too beautiful to wake up.

"You're beautiful Rachel I want to tell you that too, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, and your personality is amazing, your eyes... God your eyes they're just about the gratest thing I've ever set eyes on and you are just... Amazing, magical, femenine and I deeply apologize for every time that I said other wise, I want you to know that I never ever meant it... And please, please jsut say something, I am dying here, my heart is just going nuts... Well nutter" I am looking at her with a frown on my face this can't be real, I feel her hand touching my arm again and it makes me jump, she puts her right hand on her chest, goose bumps cover my whole body.

"I... I-I want to go" I stammer out, really, fucking really Berry what the fuck are you doing I want to go?, my hands are shaking, she nods and the look on her face makes me want to throw up I curse myself internally and I want to talk, I really, really want to talk but I just can't, she nods slowly.

I see her leanning down to cut a red tulip, she smiles, waves at the old lady and then gives me the flower, I take it with my shaky left hand and smile.

She parks in front of the school and smiles at me.

"I am sorry I made you lose classes" she says and I nod because I can't speak, my whole body is trembling and I don't really know what is going on.

"Thank you for going with me though" my mind is clouded, I get off the car and enter the school I'm still shaking and I'm sure this is a dream.

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 **Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think. Happy new year!**


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